1 liner Jokes (part2)

• The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
• Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
• To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
• Two wrongs are only the beginning.
• The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?
• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.